Hi Angelina,
Fair comment re actual, real, scientific version of how human attraction
may work, courtesy of our own contemporary view of the world, (amassed
over the last 2000 years), and largely down to science, psychology or
similar disciplines … and I’d agree … BUT 50,000, 100,000 or even
5 – 6 million years ago, (when Ardi walked with an upright gait but
still living in trees and Lucy was only just venturing out onto the
plains … there were no books or scientists to tell them how the laws
of attraction worked.
We agree, however, it is as a result of the mystery and chemistry of
life!
The fertility figures I named as evidence, (100+ been found all across
the planet), DO embody every word of the description and outlook you
offer by return and I used the fertility figure example because, yes,
the exaggerated swollen breasts are a sculptured representation of a
major, desirable RESOURCE, (swollen brests full of milk for the next
generation?) which matches exactly your own interpretation of … “their
ability to provide what is necessary for the next generation.
Likewise, unless you know a way of embuing the ‘smell of a woman’ into a
sculpture that might still actual deliver pheremones to the nose of an
archaologist 50,000 years later, the puffy, swollen vulvas depicted in
such figurines ARE a prehistoric representation of the pheremones you
highlight.
Your original observation suggested | was short sighted in choosing to
filter out ‘average build’ girls or women, presumably, because, I might
overlook, dismiss or ‘reject’ fabulous human beings who might, actually,
represent a treasure and fabulous potential influence on my life?
I say again … this is the net … and we have opportunity to find, not
average, not ordinary, not just ‘nice’ people … but sublime, erudite,
fascinating people … with mental, spiritual AND physical attributes we
might naturally wish to seek out.
You never did tell me, in actual words, if my explanation of my
fascination for big boobs STILL makes me ‘short sighted” … in your
eyes. See what I did there?!! 🙂 lol
You wrote, “However, what I know from actual real life experience, is
that what really attracts me to a man is what I see in his eyes and how
I feel in his presence.”
And me also …likewise …
But, we know, don’t we, that initial attraction IS visual …
represented by our own mental role model of perfection, (Starskey, for
you) … or, maybe Kate Winslet or a buxom Marilyn Monroe for me AND
ONLY LATER, do we get an opportunity to actually look in their eyes or
sense their presence.
In that regard, my whole explanation of my own hunt for some new ‘mate,
still survives scrutiny.
I maintain the mental, role image first …(in my case a buxom look – in
yours, a swarthy, hairy figure), and then, as a follow up, the actual
personality is examined to see if they might fit or meet or represent,
(by their presence), the sort of mate I would wish for. (Hence I
discard, even, a large breasted girl / woman if she only meets the
former and not the latter of my own expectations.
Yes. 36C is average … not mind blowingly busty! lol (Did you tighten
that nurses uniform waist belt for effect … and stuff socks in your
bra to deliver that look???!!! Ha ha.
No matter … My quest goes on though, as always, it is a delight and a
fabulous literary adventure uncovering, (my own thought), stimulated by
the thoughts of others via this marvelous 21st century means of social
engagement.
As to your comments regarding putting on a few pounds, I want you to
listen very carefully to my following comments …
I hear you … I hear you loud and clear … regarding the pain and
depression you relate as to being connected with your own heartbreak.
I want you to realise … I WASTED, and I mean I HAVE REALLY WASTED over
a decade lamenting the loss of my “perfect life” and from 1999 – 2019,
allowed my mental state to put my whole life in stasis … suspended
animation.
Now … sure … I was obviously broken up, (as I have articulated so
graphically in our previous mails), BUT … I should never have allowed
the, (then), beautiful, toned, vibrant, handsome 43 year old me … drop
out of existence … and into that deep, dark pit of negativity and
depression.
OBVIOUSLY, much of it was, (then), beyond my control but, as I know know
as a result of the brief time I experienced raw, dark, debillitating
depression, it likes to form routines … it likes to repeat cycles …
it likes US to ASSUME that every setback, every unhappy though, every
bad day … is a result if IT! (It thrives on bringing us down).
All the time I was, from 43 – say 53, I still looked gorgeous, I still
attracted the attention of women and I still, (would have), regarded
myself as a fine catch for some girl … with any bust size!!!
BUT … I didn’t pick myself up fast or quick enough … AND, as I’ve
just said, I believed EVERY minor setback, (whatever that might have
been), was good reason to feel glum and sad and beaten.
Until, one day, about 10 years in … I had an amazing revelation.
Here it is.
It was common for me to lament and fret each Christmas, remembering the
children diving onto the bed as Jackie and I dished out their special
presents.
Alone, broken and regretting how life had taken such a bad turn, I used
to crucify and torture myself each Christmas while recalling that
perfect family occasion. 🙁
TILL … one day, (a decade on and now 53), I had the Christmas thoughts
again … and was about to sink into my routine, usual world of maudlin,
black thoughts.
When a little voice said …
“Chris. It is 2009. The children have grown up.”
Adding … “Even if you were still back in the family home at Christmas
… your, (now adult), children WOULD NOT be running into the room to
jump on the bed!!!”
“You are fretting about something … some situation … some event …
some fantasy that died or was done … or is now nothing more than a
memory … though, YES, the memory still exists.”
The inner voice then told me to rescue the memory and CHERISH IT, rather
than let it be a stick to beat me with.
I did exactly that … and that Christmas, and every Christmas since,
has returned to normal. 🙂
Also … last thing …
The WHOLE theatre, the whole stage of my life, (since the break up), has
fundamentally been about “THE LOVE I LOST” in losing Jackie. I have made
an internet, online career (joking) of such a tragic parable. (Though,
true, I have actually learned and grown and become THIS MAN as a result
also) 🙂
Nevertheless, the core root of my whole beaten psyche, was based on the
premise of that “lost love”
Except … shortly after the Christmas revelation I have just revealed,
I bumped into Jackie. (This is about 5 years ago).
We chatted, probably for the first time in a decade. (We had been
avoiding each other’s eyes … and bodies … for all that time … for
fear of sparking the chemistry again … which we had done a few times
in the 1st year of our seperation … (It just complicated and screwed
with our head so … we, kind of, mutually made efforts to ignore each
other … for our own sanity)
Anyway. This day … we chatted … and we had a laugh and a joke …
and, shortly after that … I caught food poisoning or something, (can’t
remember).
What I do remember is the fact that Jackie heard about it, came round,
gave me some medicine she recommended and … kind of, looked at me that
way … The way that said, quite openly, “We’re not together, Love …
but I still care about you”.
And it was that single episode, that single moment that … entirely
released me from whatever grip I had been in …
Because, (as has become patently clear these last five year) … I NEVER
DID LOSE JACKIE’S LOVE”.
It still exists, (as with my love for her), and, with that soothing,
rreassuring thought to replace ALL others, I have mended, healed and
returned to the Chris I always used to be before The Gravity Venture.
My message to you, Angelina?
DON’T DARE LET YOUR HEARTBREAK STEAL THE NEXT TEN YEARS.
Don’t wake up at 55 realising you have allowed negativity to steal the
last of your youthful years.
Here endeth the lesson.
Your guru, Chris xx 🙂
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