I had never intended or wanted this website to be a posthumous post mortem of my tedious cancer experience of the last few years and, so far, as of September 2023, have not allowed my physical or psychological prodrome or early symptoms interfere with the spirit or demeanour of this site BUT, well, I guess I owe it to myself, and posterity, to document the illness here in some form or another.
Anyway, the situation is so dire that I’ve spent, certainly the last 18 months, simply languishing in the deeps with some desperate idea of planning an initiative or scenario where I might either pretend or convince myself that I was finally wading towards shallower waters or even dry land although the searing bright light of reality continues to blind me despite my efforts to don cool sunglasses and present myself positively to the outside world.
However. While prostate cancer is a bummer, that illness, specifically, isn’t the reason for my ongoing nihilistic outlook or my suffering.
Something far more malevolent consumes me.
In short; the whole gamut of NHS care I’ve so far received has been traumatic … but the good news?
It is all clearly documented, recorded and available as evidence to back up the incompetent (and worse) that I feel I have suffered.
Thing is though, with little time, measured in just months or a few years, do I even want to travel further down the hellish road of anger and bitterness I’ve been navigating so far?
(Pause)
Anyway, if I do, assuming I have the resolve, the time and mental expenditure, this part of the site may serve as my foil.
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