I came across Susanna, for the first time, at 11pm in the Hope and
Anchor beer garden … in the dark! I had joined Jane Parker’s table, (a
friend), and simply engaged in conversation. Susanna was silohetted
agaist the night sky. I couldn’t see what she looked like.
I found myself talking to a person I instantly liked!
That was it … I never really assessed her, lookswise, height wise or
body wise but … when I walked home, I created a birthday card sized
‘Greeting card’ thing with a spectacular photo of a Thorncombe Beacon
photo, (showing Chesil beach arcing off into the background), and a
little message along the lines of … “Great to meet you. Contact me if
you ever want to see this view in real life … with me”.
I then walked to Jane’s house and posted the card through Jane’s
letterbox, addressed to “Suzanna”. (with a ‘z’).
That was two years before we, (eventually), became friends.
I would say I “play the long game” but … all these years later, while
securing Susanna as my bestest ever friend, (and her me), we never …
ever … have tken that friendship to an intimate level.
I’ve tried … in a gentlemanly way … or by flirting … but only ONCE
has Susanna cuddled and kissed me with anything resembling abandon …
though she was, uncharacteristly, wrecked, (on vodka and tequila), so I
resisted / refused to take any remote advantage.
Please don’t view her negatively. She has an admirable level of self
worth and just wouldn’t ‘put herself about’ … errr … even with me.
:-\
I, sometimes, regret not just ‘taking advantage’ when that window of
opportunity presented, aware that so many relationships start with such
thoughtless abandon but … well … it would have been wrong of me.
Even now, we hug and I feel her breasts pressing into my chest and I
think … “Christ! How can this be? How did I allow this relationship to
remain platonic?” :)))
I love her though … and both fret and hope when I ponder if she will
ever actually meet anyone nice when she moves to Barnsley.
“Susanna. Please don’t leave things too late … and, one day, wake up
realising you have wasted a decade or more … missing out on life”.
That’s how I feel sometimes. (Can’t share Susanna’s own anxieties,
wouldn’t be right, but I know I spent too, too many years fretting about
a past I could never change.
S has a bit of that …
Beautiful, lovely soul. I do fret about her finding someone ‘nice’. Wish
her to find someone nice but … God Cat, in a different universe, in
some different place, another time … S and I might have been more than
friends.
Ah well …
Will you press your breasts against my chest when we hug? 😉
–
” Believe me, my young friend, there is nothing — absolutely nothing —
half so much worth doing as simply messing about in boats. Simply
messing… about in boats — or with boats. In or out of ’em, it doesn’t
matter. Nothing seems really to matter, that’s the charm of it. Whether
you get away, or whether you don’t; whether you arrive at your
destination or whether you reach somewhere else, or whether you never
get anywhere at all, you’re always busy, and you never do anything in
particular; and when you’ve done it there’s always something else to do,
and you can do it if you like, but you’d much better not.”
–
There is a secret side to me …
A side I NEVER / have NEVER shared …
You are blessed / priviledged cos I’m delving into the commercial aspect
of Gravity. 🙂
–
It has something to do with the goals and ambitions I set myself during
the pursuit of The Gravity venture.
It has something to do with the concept that ANYTHING we set ourselves,
(as a task), CAN be acheived.
I pursued such a philosophy … and never faltered, (despite utterly
unsurmoutable odds), and DID break records, defy statistics and, like
Houdini, wriggled out of impossible situations … and took the highest
accolades the whole international world of invention and innovation
could offer.
I set goals, targets, dreams … and just REFUSED to allow doubt or
setback to stop me …
UNTIL, with all the hard work done, with all the R & D, marketing and
route to manufacture mapped out, (needing a further £1/2 million to
finish the job properly, completely), I accepted ‘help’ from outside
investors …
If you were to paint a graph, (yeah, creatively paint, not cynically
plot a graph), it would show me, (on my own), making euphoric progress
year by year, winning local, regional, national and then international
awards, success and investment, (selling the odd share at £5000 a go to
finance each next step), to navigate my way towards success.
Until I made the fatal mistake.
I pledged to “Keep my technology local”, promise to create employment
locally … (and even won an International Community Award for granting
West Dorset companies contracts to market, develop and tool up for
Gravity tech).
My downfall?
I accepted investment from a local millionaire.
A f**king local farming family …
The last push. the last furlong. The winning tape already pressing
against my chest … but … no … the “proven, accountable financial
expertise” they claimed to have brought to their own ammassing of a
healthy personal fortune just didn’t transfer to the alien, outrageous
world of innovation and invention that I had already mastered.
After 5 years of pushing my own success, I was exhausted … and thought
I was handing over the final push to a millionaire capable of finishing
the job for me.
Can’t go any deeper.
Suffice to say, when they began to fail, I pulled the whole plug …
began to extract them AND their license to promote my technology … and
several years of legal stuff followed.
The marriage imploded in those first few months.
My mental health gave out within the year … and, physically, I
contacted a life threatening illness – brought on by stress.
This is a short, disjointed account. (I can’t go deeper).
Nevertheless, for the record, I still own EVERYTHING. I still own the
patents. I still have enormous stock in a warehouse. I’m still superstar
inventor.
The thing is … The whole fucking venture, as far as I am concerned,
can stay at the bottom of the deepest effing pit I can find for it!
Sorry Catherine. Excuse my language.
Just saying … Gravity technology is beautiful in its execution, form
and genius.
It still exists. i still own it … and, in theory, if we could get the
inventor back on message, (that’s me), I’d be back on the TV, in the
papers and over the net like a rash BUT … I want nothing more to do
with the technology, business-wise, save for seeing it adopted in one
particular personal niche connected with ‘off world’ applications.
(Mars).
Don’t ask … Just research ELON MUSK and, for homework, tell me what
his biggest current ambition is? :))
None of this will make much sense UNTIL you witness and see what Gravity
Technology actually is.
“A universal anchoring, fastening and fixing system – relying on one
moving part and the influence of gravity”
No springs, catches, mechanism or parts to fail or go wrong.
“An entirely new engineering principle”, as an international innovation
judge coined it.
… and the perfect system for hostile, alien environments.
And I haven’t even mentioned the hundreds / thousands of embodiments it
represents when introduced into everyday objects, devices and
applications.
… and ..if you think I am utterly crazy, I can deal with that because,
aside from all the press, the international awards, kind of, back me up
a bit. :)) XXX
OMG. 5:57 and two cans left!
This is rare for me, Kitten. I PROMISE I don’t do this normally.
(Wouldn’t wish to).
I’m the creator of a THING that knocked a team of Russian nuclear
physicist into 2nd place at the London International Innovation Fair. (I
won the gold award and £10,000). My THING works on the floor, the wall
or the ceiling. It can act as an intelligent feedback system, It makes a
concrete foundation re-usable, (instead of having to be dug up), it
anchors, secures, locks or fastens other things – EVERYTHING! … using
just a ball, (bearing), and no other moving part.
The world tells me, Prince Charles’s aide tells me, the chairman of UK
architects tells me … EVERYONE tells me … I am a genius …
GOD. I really hope you’ll forgive me for ….
A pack of Stella Artois brought this out … along with YOU being
someone I feel I can share this stuff with … x
But hang on a minute …
I’m writing this in Wordpad. 🙂
You’ll only get this if I actually choose to post it. 🙂
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