I was telling my friend Derek of my plans for the night. He laughed and said, “Meeting “M”, your girlfriend? Nice.” adding “T and I have booked the MerX Hotel for a romantic meal.” I said, “Neat place. Unusual!”
I arrive at “M”‘s at 9pm, dive out the car and bound up the path like Tigger! I Rat ta tat the door and wait for my girl to materialise. Meanwhile, in the MerX, Derek and T are starting their 1st course. They are in the raised part of the resteraunt. Very cosy. Very romantic. As a bonus, extra intimacy is provided by a huge earthenware pot containing fabulous 8ft Pampas grasses. It screens the couple from the gaze of other diners.
Things are no longer romantic in my world though. It’s 10pm and my night has gone wrong so I’m back in town and looking for sympathy. I eventually find Derek and T on the elevated section of the MerX resteraunt. Surprised, they beckon me over.
Derek says softly. “Hey! What’s the matter, Chris? Tell me what’s happened.” I reply. “I’ll tell you what’s happened Derek!” I hold my elbows tight in at my waist with my palms facing outwards indicating “empty hands!”
Then, unconsciously, to make a point, I dramatically fling both my arms out wide and state…! “SHE’S FINISHED WITH ME, THAT’S WHAT’S HAPPENED!” …………Then all hell lets loose!
I think it was the back of my right hand that knocked the combined 8ft of Earthenware pot / Pampas grass assembly off the cill and sent it plummetting down onto the table of six diners below – but I can’t be sure. In any event, the mechanics of it hardly mattered. Needless to say, the party’s celebration of a retirement or anniversary was rudely penetrated!
Was it embarrasing? Well, yeah, sort of. I guess it was. Was it serious? Well,it might have been more serious if Derek and T hadn’t managed to sooth, charm and calm most of the traumatised diners in the establishment. (Along with the manager).
In truth, no one got injured … and anyway, today, the hotel might qualify as the “guilty party” for not carrying out an adequate Health & Safety solution by anchoring the heavy pots to the cill.
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